Punishment vs. Discipline

Seriously!!  There is a difference?!  (That is my thought process as I learn.  I love new ideas and learning new things!) Yes.  I, -only-Recently learned this distinction.  This  is one of the 2 very important things I have learned as a parent regarding discipline.  

 First, punishment or discipline?  I never thought of the two as different.  Never really processed that .  But what a world of difference!  Reading, in a book Choose Words Choose Life, I discovered punishment is simply “stopping a behavior.”  Discipline is different in that it Teaches children how to live.  Basically you can punish a child.  Stop the behavior.  Go on with life.  And this pattern is repeated rather often.  But in doing so you can miss an opportunity -to teach-.   Why should they stop?  Cause mom or dad said so?  Well, yes but as a parent am I the end of the line?  Am I the moral authority or standard?  Um. . .not really.  Not at all.  I just am a copier (and often “attempted copier“), of the Bible.   So I’m learning to use that (the Bible) in directly teaching at each opportunity they give.  Which can be often:)  But my goal is to instill values  regularly -even daily as I become more accustomed to this new pattern that I’ve been blessed to learn of.  Not to say I never did this, yes sure there were times.   But repetition is the mother of all learning.  And we all know for a child -ehhahemm..even ourselves-learning is:  repeat -- mistake --relearn --repeat--etc.  To make this a habit, to turn the inconvenience of disobedience into an opportunity!  What a great opportunity.  No longer will I pass it up.

The second, is the idea of breaking or rather shaping the will and not breaking the spirit.  The spirit of a child is fragile & easily broken.  The will is very strong.  Breaking the spirit happens when punishment comes out of anger, frustration, just reaching the proverbial “end of the rope.”  The -rough- “PUT IT DOWN!” Yank (it) out of the child’s hand with harshness and pure frustration…maybe even a glare in your eye,  “WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU.”  Anything demeaning.  Harsh.  Unnecessary for teaching them.  Instead of the -difficult-self controlled, calm, but serious, “you need to set that down-now-.”  Elementary example-but I think it simplistically reaches the point.  What we really want to give our children is the shaping of the will, keeping their spirit healthy. Click here and scroll down for a more detailed description.